Please forgive me for deviating from my normal topic of agriculture, but I learned a life lesson that I wanted to share with you.
Yesterday, I had to tell my son that his hero had passed away.
AUDIO: Profit Matters 1-27-20
He took it well. Kobe Bryant was someone I also admired for his basketball skills. He wasn?t my hero. He was just a great player on my favorite team for his whole career.
Some people will say that he is not someone that my son should have looked up to. Yes, he had his flaws. Not here to debate those. We all have our flaws. Not making light of anyone’s mistakes, just not focusing on them specifically today.
All of us have heroes and they have had flaws. No matter who our heroes are, they are only human. Sometimes, they are our heroes because they overcome those flaws, and sometimes they are our heroes despite those flaws. If our heroes do not have flaws, they are probably either fictitious or religious entities. But even the fictitious superheroes are flawed characters. Superman, Batman, and The Incredible Hulk all have their issues.
My son likes to play basketball and he liked Kobe Bryant because he played the game well. The only flaw with this thinking is my son is eight years old, and Kobe retired in 2016. This brings me to my next point; he was easily identifiable to my son when he has a father who is a strong Lakers fan. I can understand how he feels, we have that in common. My father was one too. Dad followed them because they had been a Minnesota team, and Minnesota didn’t have one for several years.
My Dad and I didn’t watch many sporting events on tv. Mostly because sports happened when other things needed to be done. We would listen to Twins and Vikings games on radio mostly. We would watch if they made the playoffs. In fact, I can remember a few times that we watched Laker playoff games in the spring and early summer. We didn’t have the option of listening to their games.
One of my favorite Laker memories with my father is when they played Minnesota in the Western Conference Finals back in 2004. The Timberwolves were the number one team in the Western Conference. I happened to be visiting from college during the series, and we went to the Twin Cities. We had our supper at an establishment that was airing the game. Dad and I were severely outnumbered by Timberwolves fans. In fact, we were the only two. Our team won the series that night.
I learned much in that series from watching Dad. Dad was more than willing to see a hometown, Minnesota team win, just not at the expense of his team. I also learned how to be a good sport and support your team even when you are completely outnumbered. It was a lesson in loyalty and sportsmanship. These are lessons that permeate far beyond the realm of sports.
Like Kobe Bryant, my father left this world far too early. Like anybody you look up to, they were both flawed human beings. I didn’t look up to Kobe as a hero like my son did. I looked at him as a link to my father. My dad and I hardly saw eye to eye. I’m not here to air all the ?why’s? and ?what for’s.? My dad and I could see eye to eye on the teams we liked. In fact, we liked all the same professional sports teams. However, sports weren?t the main focus in our lives, but somehow Dad used them for teachable moments for some of the strongest lessons he taught me:
- Win or lose, life moves on and you live to fight another day.
- Sports can be fun to follow, but they shouldn’t be the primary focus. Life has so much more to offer.
- Also, life doesn’t go as planned. Have something to fall back on if you can.
I am not saying my Dad was my hero. However, he was someone I learned to respect, despite his flaws. I learned that lesson far too late in life. I realized, yesterday, that my son reminds me of myself. On the smaller and less-important scale, he likes the Lakers because his Dad does. This tells me that, despite my flaws, my son feels I am someone worth looking up to. I need to make sure that I am giving him a good example to follow. I need to work on being a better father to both of my children. Thankfully, that’s a lesson I’m not learning too late in life. I am by no means disparaging my father. I never wanted for anything growing up. We just let our differences of opinion get the best of us more often than we should have.
Someday, my son will figure out the people he looked up to weren’t perfect. Kobe Bryant was a flawed human being, just like my father was a flawed human being. I’m a flawed human being, and my son will be too. Hopefully, by looking up to someone with flaws, we learn how to overcome our own, learn from other’s mistakes, and try to be a better example than those who came before us. That’s what heroes do. I bet if all of you look at those you consider to be your heroes; you will see what I’m trying to say.
Our heroes change as we grow, and none of them are perfect. They all have some flaw or another that make them less than stellar people. If we all followed the advice of others and didn?t look up to people based on their mistakes, nobody would ever have a hero. There is nothing wrong with respecting somebody for one reason or another, just make sure you understand their dark sides too.
Thanks, Kobe. You were a link to my father about those few things we agreed on. You also taught me a lesson I needed to learn about my own flaws and my own son, even if it was in the middle of the night and a mere 12 hours after you passed away. I admired you for your basketball skills. Now, in your passing, you’ve become a hero to me. Not a perfect hero. Just a hero who gave me what I needed, when I needed it most.
Long live your heroes and the lessons you’ve learned because of them.
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